Who Am I and Why Am I Here?

I have been struggling lately. I mean really struggling. My motivation to do almost anything productive in my life seems to have vanished. I go to work and do what I can to just survive the day. I am avoiding running, which used to be a source of sanity and accomplishment, like it is pure torture. The things I normally enjoy, I am simply not enjoying — well, except wine.

How does writing a blog change any of that?

Simply put, it doesn’t. What I am going for here is introspection and accountability. If I don’t run, then perhaps I need to really explore why. And perhaps getting to the why will get me out of my slump. And if there happen to be some folks out there reading my words and expecting me to provide answers for why I am not running, perhaps I will stop making excuses and get my butt out the door. And once that is accomplished, maybe I’ll find my way to pick up my knitting needles again.

My husband struggles with major depressive disorder and related mental health conditions. Four or so years ago he started podcasting as part of his own therapeutic process and it has been fascinating to watch. He didn’t know if he would do more than a few episodes…. he’s done more than 100. He didn’t know if anyone would listen… he now has listeners in multiple countries and gets emails from new listeners regularly. But the biggest win to me is that sharing his journey has helped him. I will never be a podcaster. I am a guest on his show occasionally but I am 100% certain that podcasting isn’t my medium.

But writing could be. So here I go.

Ok, fine, but who the heck am I?

  • I’m an HR professional for a healthcare technology company.
  • I’m a wife (and an ex-wife).
  • I’m a mother of 2 and step-mother of 4.
  • I’m a peri-menopausal, chubby, late forty-something
  • I’m a recent transplant to North Carolina from Minnesota.
  • I’m a knitter and crocheter.
  • I’m a minimally knowledgeable wine enthusiast.
  • And I’m an on-again, off-again back-of-the-pack runner.

What will this blog be about?

It will be about my journey. It will for sure be about fitness and running (or not). Within that realm it will include some of my favorite running groups and events. It will also include other fitness programs I participate in. It may also include my thoughts and efforts around other healthy living efforts including intermittent fasting, cooking, mindfullness, etc. And finally, it will sometimes include the other things I love: my family, knitting, wine and my work.

If you want to follow me on this journey, I’d love to have you. If you don’t, that’s ok too.

#fitness #running #fatgirlrunning #fellowflowers #runninglikeawrinkly #zoomarun #zerotohero

2 comments

  1. If you’re losing your enthusiasm about things you once liked…have you had a physical lately? Have you had your thyroid checked, and your iron level to be sure you’re not anemic? There can be physical causes and you should rule them out and not just count on psyching yourself up. Another thought: are you light sensitive? Maybe the shorter days are getting to you.

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    • I have had a physical in the last 6 months and all of my labs were normal. It could be related to seasonal changes but I think it’s equally likely to just be good old fashioned depression asserting itself.

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