If there’s anything I’ve learned in my professional life as an HR Business Partner it is that people want to feel connected to other people. They want to know that they aren’t alone in how they feel or how they see things. And yet there are a host of things that are scary to be alone in that we just don’t talk about. It isn’t considered polite. Or it’s too embarassing. Or talking about them is scary. 

In my lifetime I’ve seen some of these forbidden topics come out of the shadows. When I was a kid and my dad was hospitalized due to stress and anxiety it was something we didn’t talk about – we didn’t want others to know about. But talking about mental health has become much more common over the last 40 years and people like my husband, who has been waging a lifelong battle with mental health issues, have tried to share their experiences openly to help others do the same. There may still be some stigma, but it is greatly reduced. 

In my running journey I’ve been struggling with an issue that isn’t directly related to my running – but is certainly impacting it. I find myself reluctant to put the words on paper to talk about it but that tells me that it is important to talk about. So I’m going to talk to you about poop. If this isn’t something you want to hear about feel free to stop reading and join me for my next post. But in the spirit that everyone poops, I’m hoping others of you might gain something from this or know that you aren’t alone. And I’m hoping some of you might have stories and tips to share with me.

For years now I’ve known that exercise frequently triggers in me an urgent need to poop. It doesn’t have to be high impact, intense exercise either – a walk can do it. For the most part it has been a nuisance that has led me to need to seek a restroom at inconvenient times or cut a walk through the neighborhood short. But within the last 6 months it’s become a bigger issue for me. I’m not sure what has caused the change but have been experimenting with a variety of things to see what might help. And for those of you wondering…. Yes, I’ve had a colonoscopy recently and there were no issues found.

I am also know to have the urgent need to poop when I am in situations of intense anxiety. Ironically, those two issues have come together for me because now I am anxious about having access to a bathroom on my runs in case I need to poop. The tipping point was a day that I went out for a relatively short run in my neighborhood and didn’t make it to the bathroom. I found myself at the door to our clubhouse asking someone if she could let me it (she did) and wondering how awful I smelled and what she must have thought. I did get myself cleaned up enough that I could get myself home but it was an awful experience.

I think part of the reason it was so awful is because we think it shouldn’t happen. We learn as children how to manage our bathroom needs and assume that we should have full control over such things as adults – at least until we reach an advanced age when we may find ourselves physically unable again. So if I shit myself during my run it must be because I failed in some way, right? Intellectually I don’t think that. There was no part of me that wanted to poop in my pants. But emotionally it’s hard to accept. 

After that experience I started planning my runs very, very carefully. I will do long runs in a series of out and backs from a public park restroom so that I know I won’t have to go more than a couple of miles to reach a restroom. I stopped running with my Raleigh Galloway group because I didn’t want to embarass myself or be a nuisance to my fellow runners if I had an urgent need in the midst of a group run. I started asking very specific questions about on course amenities for my races. And I’ve managed. But it’s not fun. I know my times would have been better at multiple races had I not lost time waiting in a porta-potty line. 

My run this past Sunday was one of those really frustrating experiences. I had done a 3 mile run with Raleigh Galloway on Saturday morning with no issues. Sunday, I was slated to do 14 miles and took the time to drink some coffee and try to clear my system before my run. I headed out feeling relaxed and optimistic. But that changed pretty quickly. I pooped again at the park restroom just before my run. And again at 1.5 miles. And again at 3 miles. And again at 6.5. Thankfully my system seemed to calm down after that and I was able to make it to 13.5 before I stopped again. I’m sure there’s anxiety playing in here causing the situation to recur. I want so desperately not to have a repeat of that neighborhood run. And I do start to wonder just how it’s possible that I have that much poop in my body at all. 

So what have I tried? I’ve tried making sure I poop before the run. I’ve tried ensuring that the sports drink and nutrition products I use on my runs don’t cause GI distress. I’ve tried making sure that I am hydrating more during my runs (yes, this might make me need to pee but from what I understand dehydration can cause your body to want to evacuate so that it can focus on the immediate problem). I have tried monitoring what I eat the day/night before my run. So far I have found no clear pattern and no solution. 

I went to the doctor for my annual physical last week and my blood and urine tests came back indicating that I am struggling with dehydration so I am now trying to focus on making sure I am hydrating well all the time. I know if I start a run dehydrated that isn’t going to help anything. Beyond that, I’m running out of ideas. Anyone else out there have issues with poop? What helped you?